I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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