i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
