I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
