it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
True strength comes from lack of pants
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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