The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Two words: blizzard sex
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
