i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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