just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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