capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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