Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just blew my weed a kiss
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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