Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
