Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
