We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
