Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Randomize
