it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
