yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
did i walk over a car last night?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
