You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
