i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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