this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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