The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
