Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he shaved USA in his pubs
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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