Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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