What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
