Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
