I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
