So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Pants are for mortals
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
