No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
