I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
