I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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