I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize