I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
