my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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