sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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