It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
