dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Come on in and take your pants off
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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