Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
