I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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