you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
