I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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