I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
