I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
