Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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