Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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