they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
