Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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