used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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