I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Randomize
