he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
The Olympian is in my bed
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
