just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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