this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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