guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
