You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
