This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
last night I used snow as a chaser
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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