do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
