he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
