There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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