i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
