I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
