if you like me you must not know who I am
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
