How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
