Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Pappa wants mamma naked
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
