In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think my fart just growled at me.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
