Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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