I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
