well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Let the clothes fall where they may.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
