big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
