***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
