As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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