Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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