College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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