Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
