Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
